Jealousy, although common, can be a very strong and destructive emotion. Sometimes jealousy has roots in some type of betrayal or learning about other people being untrustworthy.  Examples of betrayal could be seeing friends try to steal your boyfriend, learning that one of your parents cheated on another or seeing someone you know end up with someone you liked or acquired possessions or professional success you wanted. 

Jealousy Problems
Jealousy Problems

Jealousy looks and feels like a type of OCD. One becomes preoccupied with any signs of betrayal and the suspiciousness can become obsessive and one’s mind can go into dark places and write scripts that are very negative about the target person. An example of this would be that they get a text message and put their phone away and you believe it may be from a lover and start creating stories about who they are and what is happening. The compulsive portion of jealousy can be the desire to become hypervigilant of the target person. You may try to break into their computer, phone or even check in on them when they are away from you. If the target person is innocent, they can progressively become offended and feel controlled and the relationship may suffer substantially.   

Therapy and couples counseling can help learn about the objective cause of the jealousy and help the person or the couple manage and contain the jealousy. Sometimes, cognitive behavior therapy and self-esteem work can help the jealous person become more resilient. If the jealousy occurred as a result of an actual betrayal, the psychologist could help the couple develop open and transparent communication and the injured person can be helped by the therapist and wrong doer in earning trust again. 

Our team at Miami Psychology Group are eager to help and prepared to help determine what is the best treatment plan for you (and if appropriate, your partner).

Frequently Asked Questions

Therapy can address the root causes of jealousy by helping individuals or couples manage their emotions and develop healthier communication strategies. Cognitive behavior therapy and self-esteem work can make individuals more resilient. Sessions may involve learning how to establish open and transparent communication, particularly if jealousy stems from past betrayals. The goal is to help rebuild trust and ensure relationships are not negatively impacted.
Common triggers for jealousy can include a history of personal betrayals, such as infidelity or deceit by someone close. Jealousy may also arise from comparisons to others in areas such as relationships, possessions, or professional success. Environmental factors, along with learned behaviors and past experiences, significantly influence one’s susceptibility to jealousy.
Jealousy can resemble OCD because it often involves obsessive thoughts about potential betrayal and what the target person might be doing. This can lead to compulsive behaviors like checking on the person's communications or whereabouts. Such behaviors can become intrusive and lead to significant stress in relationships, especially if the assumptions are unfounded.
Yes, jealousy can significantly impact relationships over time. If jealousy is not addressed, it can lead to excessive suspicion and controlling behaviors that damage trust and reduce intimacy. Unfounded jealousy can cause the innocent partner to feel offended, controlled, and may even lead to the relationship dissolving if not managed properly.
To manage jealousy effectively, individuals can engage in therapy to uncover underlying causes and adopt strategies that promote healthy communication. Cognitive behavior therapy and improving self-esteem can help mitigate feelings of insecurity. If jealousy is based on actual betrayal, working towards rebuilding trust through open communication and mutual understanding is crucial.