Jealousy, although common, can be a very strong and destructive emotion. Sometimes jealousy has roots in some type of betrayal or learning about other people being untrustworthy. Examples of betrayal could be seeing friends try to steal your boyfriend, learning that one of your parents cheated on another or seeing someone you know end up with someone you liked or acquired possessions or professional success you wanted.
Jealousy looks and feels like a type of OCD. One becomes preoccupied with any signs of betrayal and the suspiciousness can become obsessive and one’s mind can go into dark places and write scripts that are very negative about the target person. An example of this would be that they get a text message and put their phone away and you believe it may be from a lover and start creating stories about who they are and what is happening. The compulsive portion of jealousy can be the desire to become hypervigilant of the target person. You may try to break into their computer, phone or even check in on them when they are away from you. If the target person is innocent, they can progressively become offended and feel controlled and the relationship may suffer substantially.
Therapy and couples counseling can help learn about the objective cause of the jealousy and help the person or the couple manage and contain the jealousy. Sometimes, cognitive behavior therapy and self-esteem work can help the jealous person become more resilient. If the jealousy occurred as a result of an actual betrayal, the psychologist could help the couple develop open and transparent communication and the injured person can be helped by the therapist and wrong doer in earning trust again.
Our team at Miami Psychology Group are eager to help and prepared to help determine what is the best treatment plan for you (and if appropriate, your partner).