We have all had experiences dealing with strong emotions. Some people are able to handle their emotions better than others, it is completely subjective. The core of emotion regulation is to reduce suffering. Emotion regulation gives you the opportunity to decide what changes you want to make to your expression of emotions.
Emotion regulation can prove challenging. It has to do with your biology, possible lack of skills, reinforcing consequences, and feeling overwhelmed. One emotion that tends to come to the forefront is difficulty coping with anger. This is an emotion that proves challenging for many individuals. Some people create a storage box or room in their mind where they store all the anger provoking experiences and then the proverbial “drop in the bucket” creates an explosion of anger that is out of proportion with the situation.
A healthier way of coping with anger is to think of a pressure cooker that lets steam out little by little. This is something you can learn to do as part of anger management. When there is an anger provoking incident, instead of filing it away in your mind, make a conscious choice to discuss these feeling with whomever is involved in the conflict. If you feel overwhelmed with your feelings, you can take a break to collect your thoughts and think of the points you want to make. The break should be at least 20 minutes for your physiology to return to homeostasis. You can go into the other room, take a walk, listen to music, watch television, if you have a pet – stroke its fur etc. Being appropriately assertive is key.
Many people say that they hate conflict and avoid it. This results in delaying inevitable angry blow up once you have reached your peak. We teach communication, not confrontation as one of the methods used to treat anger management skills deficit.
If this is something you struggle with, Miami Psychology Group has Psychologists trained in these techniques to help you best.